"Nope"

How many times have you had this interaction?

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

BOB and his date are eating dinner.  Their food has arrived but their is no Ketchup at the table.  The WAITER walks by and Bob motions to him.  He approaches.

BOB

Hey, I'm sorry, if it's not too much trouble could you bring us some Ketchup?

WAITER

Nope.

Internally the waiter laughs and laughs hahahahahahahahahaha lolololol rofl.

WAITER

Just kidding. Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Hilarious! Do waiters think that's going to earn them a better tip? Or that "joke" is amusing.

I'm sure it's a boring job and you just want to liven it up a little.  But that "joke" is so stale.  So how about mixing it up a little, and instead trying...

to go get my dang ketchup.

No joke necessary.  I came to enjoy a sandwich, not the comedy stylings of a 28 year old waiter / drummer in a dave matthews cover band.